Goals

Its A Long Road…

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It’s been a while, and I haven’t given up trying on my dreams. The journey seems so long, and some days are really bad with no hopes and no results. But still I try to get back the next day or day after. One important thing is what I eat affects so much! My eating habits aren’t very healthy, so after waking up when I have a big full breakfast w/ too much carb, I feel so exhausted to work! I recently started doing intermittent fasting. Not for too long, about 13 hours of no food, it may look like pretty normal, but for me it is a big deal, since i used to eat at mid night!! This fasting is helping a little, not a lot, but I am hoping slowly I will be able to increase the fasting hours and have better results. Right now the focus is on just doing it, even for less hours.

Its really hard working when your regular life has no discipline and your day to day activities are pretty mundane, but I guess that is the struggle that I have to work through, to not give up and keep trying. It will soon happen!!

Goals

Resume…

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When we distract from our path towards goal, and struggle to come back, do we start over? I don’t think so, for all the work that has been done before distraction still remains. But sine many times we believe ‘omg, i have to start over’, ‘its all for nothing’ etc, the believe and thought kinda make it somewhat true. You see, believe and thoughts are so powerful that if you keep believing you can’t, you actually can’t! Somehow this time, the journey toward my goal is relatively persistent, I do get out of the way for few days, but I don’t lose hope, and I firmly believe that I can….so resuming from where you started doesn’t invalidate everything you did and you are starting new, it means, you took a break, now you will resume your journey towards your goal.

awareness · life

Pain!

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As I face the daily challenges of working hard, building myself, and most times being behind the deadlines, I realized the biggest challenge here is to actually is pain. If I can not embrace the pain, accept it lovingly, be with it, go through it, no challenge in life can be resolved! So I am trying to understand how to love the pain. The pain of waking up early, the pain of not feeling like focusing yet focusing thinking of the real goal, the pain of struggle, the pain of persistence, the pain of giving up the luxuries of watching TV, the pain of not eating just when I want to and what I want to. All these pain, I have to find a way to welcome them, walk with them, only that can lead to a life that I hope for myself. The more I run away from my pain the farther I am going from my goal and closer to real destruction of life.

The choice is clear, I have to be friend with all these pain, I have to embrace it to have a better life.

success

Coming Back Where Left…

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Last few days I kind of drifted away from my goal, it has been hard and not being able to continue what I should have made it harder and I became depressed!

As I was listening to a motivational speech today, I heard the talk about the importance of failure before success. Now, when I used to hear about failure before success I used to think something like failed business before you continue another and become successful when you dont give up. But today as I was listening to the talk I realized the days I am unable to focus, and show up for my tasks towards my goal, are my failure days, so it doesn’t matter if I have failed these days, what matter is how fast I can come back and start from where I left without any procrastination. So, these are failures for me, when its hard to focus, when I am sleepy, when I want to give up, when I am down, I have to remember that no matter how much failure I go through, I am not giving up, and I will be able to reach my goals!

Goals · success

Priming

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I have started a personal life coaching session with a Tony Robbin’s life coach. One of the thing she keep mentioning about is priming. Each day when we wake up and when we go to sleep priming is very important. When/if we can prime ourselves properly, It sets a tone for the day and help us make decisions based on our goals instead of instant happiness.

So, when I wake up these days, I try to prime a bit, many times I noticed, I get distracted by the phone or opening a random social media website or check emails, and completely forget what should I even think for my goals when I do priming. I very important step of priming is ‘Visualization’. Being able to see your goal as if it already happened, and how it feels! The too many distraction of every days life make it so hard to remember where am I heading in life….daily prime supposed to keep me grounded and give me a daily reminder of what I want, and how to make decisions everyday to go towards it!

Priming involves few steps as Tony Robins suggest. Here is an image I found online which Tony Robbins suggest/follows for daily morning priming:

awareness · habit

Your Thoughts Make Your Belief

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Whatever thought goes through our mind the whole day, and then day after day, months after months, they create some beliefs. Its so easy for me to blurt out ‘I don’t think I can do it’, ‘I am too old to do it’ – all these are some belief inside me that has subconsciously directing me to the kind of life I have now.

Since I am trying to work on my thoughts, interrupt my pattern, it is sometime surprising how simple core beliefs that I have are so powerful and making simple work so hard for me. The biggest challenge has been now to interrupt the patter. Instead saying/thinking I am overwhelmed with everything, I should really see and thing, is it that bad? I felt that in the morning and was down, then I decided to interrupt my pattern (thanks to my life coach!), I decided to calm down, and not let any of my thoughts or belief system interrupt, and ended up having a fruitful day. Whole house was a big mess, cleaned it! Lots of study, did some. Now going to gym for few days, went there. Watching too much TV, only watched for 25 min in a controlled manner.

None of this would have been possible if I were to let myself run by the habitual autopilot thoughts and beliefs that drive me!

Goals

You Can, You Must

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It was very hard to not fall back to sleep in the morning after waking up, as I am used to doing it a lot :/ The thing I kept reminding myself is I have had enough luxury of resting, its time to get back to hard work or else, I am at the verge of making my very near future a complete disaster!! It will be very painful and not only me, I will put my family members also in a bad situation. So my success not only makes my life better but it also helps my family, friends and many people I know. By working hard and building a better future I can help myself and also, others. The ability to be able to help others is the source ultimate joy & happiness 🙂 But before that I have to fill my cup, instead of pouring from an empty cup!

habit

Focus Challenge

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Joined a program to prepare for the interviews – Algorithm & Data Structure. Its been challenging to focus. While either solving a problem set or watching a video for solutions, I lose my patience and start checking emails, social media etc. It has been quite challenging recently. Its true that I am studying after a long break and the challenge is to focus for more than 20/30 min at a stretch! I am looking into ways to improve the focus. I have been using some tools to limit the websites I can access. But somehow ends up opening them and get back to the NO FOCUS mode :/ I am hoping with time and consistent effort this will improve soon!

awareness · habit

Committing To A Habit!

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Paying for gyms for months and not every going has been a consistent habit for me 😛

To break the habit this time, I took a challenge to go to gym EVERY SINGLE DAY, even if its for 5 min. It has been hard and I couldn’t do it daily, but what I am proud of is in last 3 weeks I went there at least 4 days a week. Even one day I just went to take a bath 🙂 Oh well, in my defense I WENT!

The things is each time I have an excuse to not go, if one day it ends up controlling me I don’t let it decide my next day. I have been dancing between my excuses and my persistence. No one is fully winning yet, and I don’t plan to let the excuses win 😉

awareness · Goals

Interrupting Old Pattern/Thoughts

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Its quite natural to fall back to your old way of talking to yourself and go into autopilot mode. So the biggest challenge is be able to have the awareness and try to interrupt the thoughts. Just the step of being able to catch it and interrupt will help a lot! At first, it might be challenging but as the saying goes “When you want something bad enought you will find a way…”.

Changes don’t happen overnight, I have been on the journey of self awareness and understanding self for last 4/5 years and yet I am struggling everyday with so many things. I guess when I am in it, it doesn’t feel like much, but if I look back I can feel how much I have changed, how many things I have become comfortable with, how many things in life to be accepting with and most importantly how much I am trying and not giving up 🙂

Anyway, I felt like goig to sleep after kids went to sleep (what I usually do most days) but I interrupter and asked myself: “What would the person I want to become will do?”

This question is with me for couple days, every time I feel lost or not sure of my next step, I ask this question to myself and the answer represented to myself with a smile and I try my best to do that! I am getting there, I can feel it! I am going towards my dream, and my goal.